Hills and Valleys

Life is full of ups and downs and right now I'm walking through a valley. All 4 of us have been sick this past 2 weeks with Len being the first, then me and then the little ones. I have been so busy of late that I only just notice the blues creeping up on me.

My good friend Ele told me that it's not unusual to feel somewhat depressed after a bout of flu. Coupled with my boys being ill, not getting enough sleep, worrying to death about my breastmilk supply and my mum being sick too, it's all been wearing me thin. To add to all this, Len is flying to Greece tonight and won't be home until Monday!

Ordinarily, I would be the first to jump for joy and praise the Lord for a wonderful opportunity for Len but I have to say I'm not all that chuffed. I feel like I'm going to be without my right hand this weekend and that's rough. The depression bit has me feeling a tad resentful but I push these thoughts to the back of my mind and try to push forward. I'm weary and feel like a weight is resting on me. I think a big portion of what's getting me down is Eli refusing to nurse these past 4 days. I've always been able to rely on breastfeeding to comfort and nourish my babies but this time around I can't seem to and it's making me stressed out.

When I'm backed into a corner like this however, I feel God talking and comforting me. He tells me that He will be my shield and during this time when I feel like there's nothing I can do to make this situation better, He will be my provider. Praise God for these tough journeys.

I Need A Makeover!!

I woke up at 234am with this insane need to reinvent my wardrobe and how I dress. Since becoming a mom and dropping my day job, I've fallen into a comfortable uniform of tanks and jeans/shorts paired almost exclusively with my Birkenstocks.

In need of inspiration I found myself awake in the dead of the night hunting for style ideas. Think I've gone a little loopy? Think I just need a little break from being in full-on mommy mode even if it's just for a few minutes. I'm missing dressing up to be at an event, to go on a date with my beloved, to have a reason to wear something that's 1) precious 2) look-at-me and 3) not just purely functional.

I want to go shopping.

I NEED to go shopping.

I also NEED TO GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!

Eli is 2 Months Old!

Happy 2 Months Baby Eli! Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother Zac love you to bits. You're getting stronger by the day and now weigh a hefty 5 kilos, filling out the onesies that used to hang on your little body. You can raise your head quite well now though not very steadily and you've started becoming more vocal, cooing and calling out when you're hungry. We love calling your name and having you look at our faces when we talk to you.

Mummy and Oma are especially happy that you're sleeping a little more at night and don't wake to feed as frequently so we get to sleep a little more. We're all so glad that you've gotten over your first cold which seemed to stick around for an eternity!

You're loving your daily baths and especially enjoy your chill out time listening to the animal mobile hanging above your cot. Though we haven't brought you out much, you seem content to eat and sleep for most of the day. You're a sweetie who doesn't fuss unless you need a nappy change, you want to sleep or you're hungry.

Mummy's Post-Pregnancy Notes:

• Seems I'm making more milk this time than I did when Zac was an infant. The freezer is already half-filled with packets of frozen breastmilk!
• The pigmentation (the line down by belly and the spots near my underarms) caused by hormones is still visible but have lightened.
• I'm hungry and terribly thirsty all the time but I'm still losing weight slowly but surely - I HEART BREASTFEEDING! Now to attempt to start exercising.
• I'm not enjoying the aches and pains in my neck and back. Pregnancy, breastfeeding and being a mummy in general has caused my posture to really deteriorate. I REALLY need to start strengthening my back.

Eli is 1 Month Today!!

Dear Baby Eli,

Happy 1st month my love! It's hard to believe we've had you with us for a whole month. Your mummy, daddy and big brother love you so very much and look forward to our adventures to come.

Love,
Mummy, Daddy and kor kor Zac

Day 4 - Update

Len sunning Eli.

We're just back from seeing Dr Chan for a routine follow-up to check for jaundice. Eli's a little yellow but nothing too serious. I wish the weather would cooperate a little so he can get some sun in the mornings. It's been overcast and rainy - typical December weather.


Eli is just 4 days old and we're settling in nicely to a little routine of sorts. Zac wakes up around 7.30AM to come over to our room so he can lie in bed with me and Eli. He loves his little brother and if he could, he would bring him everywhere he went!

The milk man seems to be coming soon thanks to Eli being more wakeful and more willing to suckle. Looks like it's time to break out the nursing bras and breast pads.

Salbiah came over for our first (of 7) massage session yesterday. I was really looking forward to it not just because it had such a tremendous impact on getting my body to look and feel better but also because I could lie down and not be disturbed for a little while. Like before the abdominal bit was the most excruciating but after the session, my tummy did look flatter though I still look 3-4 months pregnant. I'm a little bruised but really looking forward to another massage today!

Zac Meets Eli

Zac came this evening to meet his new baby brother. It seems to be love at first sight. He was so thrilled to see that this "Eli" that we had been talking about all this while did in fact exist!

He'd brought his favourite toy, Kaloo, who he had been referring to as his baby, so he could share with Eli. He spoke softly most of the time and gently touched his brother's head, all the while cooing about how cute he was.