Volatility of Being TWO

Yes that is Eli having a tantrum because he wants the stool Zachary is sitting on. Just a few moments later, he's chasing bubbles.

Fine Whine

I don't think we really hit the Terrible Twos with Zac while we were in Spain and for that I'm ever grateful. Unfortunately, it seems we've hit the Fearsome Fours where tantrums, tears and tyranny seems to erupt at every corner we turn.

I'm not entirely sure what hit us and whether it's just a boundary-testing phase, over-tiredness, or need for attention but whatever it is it's tedious and just plain exhausting to deal with. I don't fancy this stage of his development and I honestly wish he'd just snap out of it. There are lots and lots of instances, however where I doubt myself and wonder if I'm doing something wrong! Can't help that - guilt and self-doubt seems to come with the territory. Still, it's not a very helpful way of approaching this whole parenting-young-children animal.

Even though it's hard when you're in the midst of the chaos, but I'm trying to be optimistic and light-hearted about this whole thing. While I mourn the loss of my precious, sweet little baby who has turned into a livewire with sass to boot, I'm also looking at the brighter side of being a mum to a chatty, intelligent and oftentimes loving little boy. To remind myself, I take lots of photos and record little videos of both my boys as they go about their day to day.

Gripes aside, I'm really so grateful that they're healthy (usually) and happy (usually) and I try so hard not to take things like that for granted. I pray that even as we hit potholes now and again, we'll be able to nurture an intimate relationship with our children so that even when they go out in search of themselves, they won't forget where home is.

The Naughty Boy Fish

This is the super duper gigantic fish that inhabits the little pond at Dempsey near Zac's school. We never knew it was there until a friend pointed it out. You can't tell from the picture but it's HUGE! I think if Len lay down next to it, it might be a tough fight to see who is longer/taller.

I made up that it's called the "Naughty Boy" fish who can smell naughtiness and sniffs out naughty children for his supper. The only way to ward off the "Naughty Boy" fish is to do good things and be obedient!

Going Through Phases Without Getting Phased

My baby boy turns three in a week and he amazes us everyday with his funny, energetic and surprisingly sweet nature. He's grown to a little more than a metre in height and has morphed emotionally and intellectually from being a little baby to a mini human being complete with sponge-like brain. Looking at all these changes taking place on the outside and inside, "growing pains" are a natural. However, this phase seems to have turned our sweet little guy into a growing pain in the butt at times.

While on the whole, he's always had a pretty even temperament as far as little kids go, his recent explosive tendencies when trying to express his ideas and emotions has us running for cover. I've noticed the changes have been creeping in over the past 2-3 months and he's been walking around like a ticking time-bomb that gets set off by just about anything. His first reaction to disappointment (ie, being told 'no') is to crumple into a ball and burst into tears. Usually this is a sure sign of tiredness or an on-coming ailment but it seems my almost-3-year-old has learned the fine art of crocodile tears. (Something he surely picked up from watching his classmates in school.) He's testy and sassy a whole lot more often and has been seriously trying to push the boundaries particularly when it comes to being polite or obedient. I know my sweet little baby is still somewhere in there but now that he's smarter and feels more capable, he can't help but try to push our buttons. I know it's all a ruse because I have caught him mid-bawl peeking at me to see if I'll cave.

It feels like there were fewer behavioural issues to deal with while we were in Barcelona and I can't help but attribute the changes to the fact that I haven't been able to give him 100% of my attention 100% of the time. This is largely due to the big changes in our living arrangements and the fact that I'm pregnant and was out of commission for more than 3 months! I've had to settle with being an unwilling backseat passenger while my mum's graciously taken over caring for Zac. (Even though we're all living together, a toddler is not so likely to take you seriously when you can barely get yourself out of bed and the different toddler smells he brings makes you run for the toilet.)

Now that I'm feeling much better, being pregnant makes it a little more difficult for me to deal with temper tantrums and bad behaviour. Not impossible. Just difficult. This is especially so when nipping the tantrum in the bud requires me to physically hold or remove my writhing child from a situation. Reclaiming the reins to the runaway wagon that is my little boy is quite the challenge and oftentimes an uphill battle but it is one battle I refuse to lose. Len and I both agree that teaching our children while they are young and pliable is really the best favour we could do for them (and us). Being young and pliable doesn't make it any easier and there are days I get thoroughly discouraged. I mean, how encouraging is it to have your son tell you "I don't want mummy; I want Mama/Bah"? It's so true that parenting very young children can sometimes be such a thankless job!

The Strategy:

1. Repeat. Instead of nagging, I only highlight the message I'm trying to get across when it is immediately in front of him instead of in the possible future. Consistency is so important but it's one of those tricky things that often gets neglected so I'm trying to remind myself to be more mindful.

2. Keep promises. If I promise certain rewards/punishments, I try to make sure I follow through so he knows I mean what I say.

3. Speak in low tones. Yelling doesn't cut it and usually ends up making everyone more upset. Zac seems to respond better when he's looked in the eye and spoken to without raising my voice.

4. Catch him doing good stuff. Praising the good behaviour and ignoring the bad might - I read this in a parenting book and have been trying to apply it in my own parenting style.
(NOTE TO SELF: I will not reward only with food and material things.)

Right. Now that I have this down on the blog, I hope to stick with it and hopefully see the fruits of my labour.